Maybe IDK, Maybe That’s Okay

Every Monday, Spotify updates my “Discover Weekly” playlist and provides me with all new songs to discover and fall in love with. Every week, the songs are perfect (how does Spotify do that??) and there’s usually one or two that end up on repeat. This week:

Maybe, IDK – originally a hip hop song by Jon Bellion, but specifically the acoustic cover by Haley Klinkhammer. Click HERE to listen.

Wow, does this song get me thinking.

I’m a control freak. Part of it stems from my lack of control with my illness and my mental health, some of it comes from my innate desire to know what’s going to happen and when. It’s something I’ve been struggling with a lot lately. Often, I find myself asking “Why? When will it end? What’s next for me?” All directed at Jesus, of course. All answered by his perfect plans, of course.

At the start of each chorus, she sings “I guess if I knew tomorrow, I guess I wouldn’t need faith. I guess if I never failed, I guess I’d never need grace. I guess if I knew His plans, I guess He wouldn’t be God. Maybe I don’t know, and maybe thats okay.”

Dang, busted. If I had the control I was seeking… If I did have all the answers…. What would I continue to live for? The work of Jesus wouldn’t be done, and His plans would never unfold as they most definitely should and will. I’m over here trying to do His job.

Spoiler alert: I’ll never ever be as good at it as He is. Never.

So maybe I don’t know why certain things are happening in my life. Maybe I don’t know when things will fall into place or turn around. Maybe I don’t know what’s next.

But maybe that’s okay.

With all the love,

A